Top 10 Moments from my trip north (so far)

10. Shopping in Sioux Falls with mom, aunt Sara, and Sophie.

9. Family dinners of food, wine, and oh so much laughter.

8. Staying up past midnight, waiting for dad to get home, and discussing the dress rehearsal of "The Sound of Music".

7. Hearing from an old friend, and scheduling a play date for tomorrow morning.

6. Listening to Sophie and Ella converse in their own language about the artwork in the bathroom and, later, whether or not they should defy their parents and go upstairs.

5. Watching my mom play with Sophie and her big exercise ball.

4. My purchases from the Etcetera Shoppe (Sophie: Jumper, $1; pink cable tights, $.25, white shirt that says, "I live in a magical forest", $1. Me: AWESOME skinny jeans that fit me like a glove, $2)

3. Coffee in the mornings with mom and dad while Sophie plays on the floor.

2. Seeing the people who have known me my whole life, and sharing hugs and memories.

1. Being in the home in grew up in, which never seems to change.

all my bags are packed, I'm ready to go

Wednesday, Sophie and I head north for a bit of Schmecking. (For those of you who don't know what Schmeckfest is, and I can't imagine HOW you would not KNOW, here.)

Roy's staying in Lexington to enjoy a weekend of bachelorhood and I'm going to enjoy a few quiet days with the 'rents. There really is no place like home and I'm looking so forward a knitting, foot rubbing, and good food eating time.

aah, I love going home.

Happy Equinox, world

It's late and I'm tired.

Okay, so it's not REALLY late, it's only 10:35, but in my world? That's awfully late not to be curled up in bed reading or perhaps just clicking off the light and snuggling deep into my covers.

But this evening, after taking Sophie to an Easter Egg hunt at her Maw Maw and Pa's house, where she played with her cousins, ate peeps and chocolate eggs, and rocked out on a rocking horse, I drove home through the light rain.

I am every so often overcome with emotion about this place I call home, Kentucky. As I drove, I flipped from one NPR station, which was playing A Prairie Home Companion (I'll admit it - that show drives me up the wall!!!) to the other NPR station, which was playing the most beautiful Bach piece. I smiled, grateful to have a choice, and knew that Sunday noon, I could pick up Wait Wait, Don't Tell Me on the station currently possessed by Garrison Keillor after hearing Sunday Baroque on the station playing Bach.

The grass is greenish, the trees are still bare, and I had to change from short sleeves to a coat in 24 hours, but it is spring. And there is no better place to be than Kentucky. In mere days, the world will smell like a greenhouse.

I love this week's horoscope

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Writing in the *San Francisco Chronicle,*columnist Jon Carroll described the behavior of certain young spiders in the Sacramento Delta. When one of these "spiderlings" is ready to leave its birthplace and go in search of adventure, it spins out a long gossamer strand, climbs aboard, and leaps into the unknown. Floating in mid-air, it's carried by the wind to who-knows-where, eventually landing in its new homeland. While I'm normally a big advocate of having goals and making plans, this is one of those rare times when I advise you to act more like
the spiderlings.

www.freewillastrology.com

Riley and his 11th year

On Thursday, my step-son Riley turned 10. One the one hand, this is totally shocking. I remember when he was born. I remember playing "where's your belly button?" I remember tricking him into wearing his shoes by claiming they were shoe monsters that wanted to eat his feet. I remember the battles over food. Oh the battles over food!

On the other hand, he has really grown up and is so mature and such a good person.

He takes responsibility for and is fiercely protective of his little sister, who is so loyal to him she follows him around saying, "Riley... Riley... Riley..."
He is an amazing role model and older cousin to his younger one, Trenton. This 4 year old crawled onto my lap, sighed, and said, "I love Riley." There is no doubt - the feeling is mutual.
Riley has his first REAL girlfriend. It is evident how much he likes her by how little he wants to talk about it. Sometimes though, he just can't help it. "The first time we talked on the phone, we talked for 45 minutes and 35 seconds." He's so smitten by her that he got his hair cut - at her request!

BEFORE:
ME: What happens when his girlfriend wants him to get his eyebrow pierced?

ROY: Eyebrow? What happens when his girlfriend wants him to vote Republican?

ME: *shudder*

AFTER:He thought that his new hair cute was too neat. I told him that it wouldn't stay that way for long, as evidenced in pictures to follow.

His birthday present was Guitar Hero. There was a lot of music in this house Friday night and Saturday morning. He's darn good!
Saturday afternoon, we had a party to celebrate this year of double digits. He loooves hotels, so we got a suite in Lexington and had family over.

Cousins to swim with. Uncles to play with.Wishes to make.
Beds to snuggle on.
And breakfast in the morning. (Note the hair!)I am so proud of Riley. He's so smart and so kind. We went to his play, "No Strings Attached" last week. While we were standing with Sophie, watching from the door, one of the lunch ladies said, "you must be Riley's dad. I see the resemblance." We talked for a minute and she said, "Riley is such a great kid. I mean a really GREAT KID." We knew this, but to hear it from someone else was just so affirming.

A lot of step-mom's and step-sons have issues. We don't. There's a mutual understanding there. I'm excited to be there for him as he gets older, just as I've been there up to this point.

As Trenton said, "I love Riley." Me too, Trenton. Me too.

Responsibility

This week, I was directly responsible for someone else's misery. I knew, even as the words left my mouth, that I had made a grave error.

Indeed.

So, today I apologized.

I'm trying to curb the nausea I feel in my belly. So I'm going to make a list of the things that are good about this awful situation.

I took responsibility instead of placing blame.
I rejected my fear of confrontation and apologized face to face, instead of sending the easier, and much more woosie, email.
I listened instead of arguing a defense.
I learned a valuable lesson.

I must always remind myself that I am in this world to do good, not harm. I must never lose sight of that. This was a hard, hard reminder.

(in) appropriate joke

How do you know Eliot Spitzer is a Democrat?

He got caught screwing a woman.

(thanks, Uncle Bill)

Notes

When I was little, I loved my moms hands. I loved their smell and the way the felt; their perfect size. When I would lay with her in bed, I would have her put her hand under my head. It felt cool. I felt safe. Recently I noticed that Sophie will take my hand and hold it close to her. She will put it against her chest, her face. The comfort that I felt/feel in the presence of my mom cannot be duplicated. I am that to Sophie. Wow.Today it was 66 degrees. Sophie has little interest in just playing outside. Right now, she loves to go for walks. She takes my hand and marches down the street. Next weekend, Roy and I are getting a big dumpster from the city and cleaning out our backyard and basement of all the crap that was left here by the previous residents. It's just not safe for Sophie right now. I am so excited for creating a safe, backyard environment for our little rugrat!I saw Sophie, for the first time, become a couch potato. We let her watch very little tv but sometimes, as a treat, we'll put on Sesame Street or the Backyardigans. I have never seen her veg like this before. She was zoned! YIKES!!
Another sign of spring? This is what I'm going to do on Sunday! (I'm only growing what I know we'll eat in abundance. For the rest I'll depend on the Market.)

Snow!!

Saturday, I shoveled snow for the first time in 8 years. I have missed the snow since I moved to Kentucky in 2000 and was very excited to shovel. About 3 scoops in, however, my lower back aching, I decided I didn't miss it as much as I thought. Today, looking out my window, I would say we have about 6 inches on the ground. Even though it is March and I am anxious for spring, the snow was a wonderful treat.

Our dear friend Josh came over and, after filling their bellies with chili, he and Roy worked for hours building their version of Cthulhu, one of H.P. Lovecraft's characters.

They came inside, frozen, looking for coffee, hot chocolate, and maybe a little bourbon.

Sophie sat by the window watching the action and eating goldfish.


And she read.I laid on the couch reading the Fodor's Guide to N. California, as I prepare this July's bachelorette party for my best friend, Carrie.

I also took advantage of this day, Sophie's 18 month birthday, to photograph her in all of her growing, precocious self.The day was perfection. Sunday looks to be on target to be another, amazing, wonderful day.

The Curse of a Good Book

Last night I finished one of the books that was on my to-read list. This 519 page masterpiece took me less than a week and today I am in mourning.

On the inside flap of, "A Time Travelers Wife" by Audrey Niffenegger, it says thus: "(this) is the story of Clare, a beautiful art student, and Henry, an adventuresome librarian, who have known each other since Claire was 6 and Henry was 36, and were married when Claire was 23 and Henry was 31. Impossible but true." Henry suffers from a disease in which he is periodically displaced in time. As much as it sounds like one, this is not a science fiction novel. The book is their story of triumphant love in the midst of a great obstacle, one in which Henry disappears without warning and for indiscriminate amounts of time.

I know this story is impossible, and yet all week I have found myself wondering about these characters. They are so very real to me and this is much of what makes Niffenegger's novel the work of art that it is.

Now, like a spurned lover, I must move on in the knowledge that whatever book is next will be a rebound. It won't measure up to my last conquest and yet I must persevere for The Time Traveler's Wife is over. With the final thump in the book drop, it too has moved on.

Last night when I settled in to bed, I thought I had more left than I actually did. The end was satisfying, but it came much too soon. I wandered around the house, wide awake, looking for what was to be next. I stumbled from fiction to non-fiction, David McCullough, to the Fodor's guide to Northern California. Finally, I crept into Sophie's room and took her copy of the illustrated Charlotte's Web. It will be a brief read, but I will find comfort in its pages.

Books of this stature don't come around very often, so I will revel in its brilliance until something else catches my eye.