jwb

I was looking for the guitar tab for Famous Blue Raincoat when I came across the poem I wrote for my Grandpa Bixel when he died. I know my mom has a copy, but I haven't seen or read this poem since shortly after it was composed more than 10 years ago. I was struck by the emotion that welled up in me upon reading it again. I saw my cousin Wendy on Thursday night and she told me that she still cries for Grossmama, my Grandpa Bixel's sister, who died 14 years ago. I feel their presence strongly today, but can't say exactly why.

for james woodrow bixel
November 7, 1913-March 17, 1999

I see you now over a grand, grand piano
a glass of the finest red wine keeping you in check.
and your dear friend Wolfgang by your side -
duets of the grandest kind!
dancing with the angel that you met
when you were only my age
singing sweet songs with your sisters
smiley gaily at the world down below.
Socialism is the only way! you bellow from
on high
and I hear your cry
of lunacy and lucidity and true, infinite beauty.
you greet me on Tuesdays, and sometimes Thursdays
from the tops of trees
and shake your well formed
piano playing
composition finger at me and
smiling
command me to behave.
but ah, grandfather, I am young and don't easily forget
the night you had a bit too much to drink and
stumbled through the streets of Vienna.
so tell me, is it subert?
or schubert?
You are the only one who truly knows.
So dance on stilts and skip on the ice
and walk me round the block of life
telling me stories and making up songs.
I'll visit daily with a bottle of wine
a song for the ages
and a smile of honor
for I am the granddaughter
of a great man.

moving from fear into acceptance

I call this one "Herbie in Sage".

an everyday life (with surprises)

As I was going through pictures for this post, I came across one of what my living room normally looks like:

From am's picasa

and our book shelves:

From am's picasa

But right now? The room is clean. Clean, dusted, put away, cleaner than it is on MOST weekends. And because of the major mess that this room normally is, I think I enjoy the cleanliness even more. And I always swear swear swear I'll keep it clean until next Saturday but alas, it's just not me.

Last Monday, Sophie brought me a ribbon for her hair and asked for it, "just like Cinderella". She looked so freaking adorable (and OLD!) that I had to snap a picture.

From am's picasa

Later that night, our friends Brad and Rachel stopped in for a visit on their way back to Kansas. This is the only picture I got of the visit. It's weird/rewarding/aging/amazing to see my child and the child of my college dorm mate playing together.

From am's picasa

This past Friday, we went to a cookout at our friends place in Jessamine County. It completely reaffirmed our desire for land and we thoroughly enjoyed seeing their kids again. Brier and Sophie shared a plate of food. We hadn't seen this beautiful family for some time, and Brier knocked my socks off. This kid has NO FEAR.

From am's picasa

Avery showed us her skills.

From am's picasa

And Roy taught the multitudes of kids to build fire and make campfire magic.

From am's picasa

This summer is going fast, but it's been so good; one of the best summers I can remember. I think that's largely because of Sophie. There's nothing like a 2 year old to help you remember why Summer is magic.

tech savvy

"There is no hope of us being more tech savvy than our kids." said Roy after I informed him that Sophie bought a movie on pay per view. In the 15 seconds it took for me to go outside, close the gate, and let the dog out, Sophie had bought 101 Dalmatians for $3. As Roy said, at least it wasn't 101 Dominatrix.

Sophie plays this game on the computer, often without help, and has no trouble navigating with the mouse as long as we turn off the right click.

Nowhere is her ability to use technology more apparent, however, than with the iPhone. She knows where the applications to color are, how to pull up and watch Cinderella, and she loves going through the music on my iPod. Her favorite ap, though, is the camera.

Here is a view of the world from my daughters perspective. (I have deleted the many photos where she covers the lens with her finger.)

In other news, our summer is progressing beautifully. Last night we went to a pool party at a friends house that did not disappoint. The kids - oh who am I kidding - we all had a blast splashing around in the pool, playing monkey in the middle and Sophie did so well that I think I'll put her into swimming lessons in July.

My hanging tomato plant is covered in yellow flowers and I have my first little green tomato beginning. I am so happy to have found a way to garden in my small space. We have enjoyed lettuce and fresh herbs; the mint is taking off in the container by the fence, and I think I still have time to put in a pepper plant. It's more than enough for us and there's always more to share with the neighbors.

We still have a couple of trips in the works - we're hoping to go to North Carolina in July to see the area where Roy's Grandma and her family are from, and then there's South Dakota in September to meet the newest addition to the Waltner clan, due to arrive in just a few weeks.

I'm giddy with anticipation for the bounty to come!

Festival of the Bluegrass No. 36

My shoulders and nose are tinged with pink. I can't seem to wash off the grime of being outdoors for a week. And my feet, the tops of which resemble the tops of my sandals, are killing me.

The 36th Annual Festival of the Bluegrass was, I think I can say, a success. This year was very, very different for Roy and I as we were much more involved in the pre-planning. As I like to put it, we worked so hard we weren't even on the work schedule. As you'll see from the pictures to follow, there are none of camp because we were almost never there. By the time we arrived Saturday night to walk to our familiar spots - the Wireman camp, into Hippiehill (our camp), through Wooville, up to the Heathens and into the Ragheads - it was 2AM, we stumbled from exhaustion running only on adreneline, and the camera was the last thing on my mind.

Still, there were some real gems in this weekend. Here are some highlights.

We did some early promotion at the Southland Jamboree. Sophie was quick to leave with two of her favorite people.

From Festival 2009

We were plagued with rain Monday through Thursday. Sophie didn't seem to mind.

From Festival 2009

Life is just more fun when Bret's around.

From Festival 2009

From Festival 2009

Lots of family.

From Festival 2009

A killer open stage.

From Festival 2009

And the main acts weren't to shabby either.

From Festival 2009

There was ice cream a'plenty

From Festival 2009

and our annual Sophie picture on stage.

From Festival 2009

This was a good year and now begins the planning for 2010. June 10-13. Want to come? Shoot me an email. I won't even put you to work... this year.

My Songbird

We have, in the last few weeks, turned off the radio. From the back seat of our car comes a serenade of all the things going on around us. We know when we pass a red truck, a church, a tree, a bird, a man, a dog... you get the picture.

I caught Sophie in a rare exhibitionist mood and she sang song after song into the camera. This is the best one... and the one that didn't have anything to do with butts.

Memorial Day

I'll never forget the day I realized that not everyone agreed with me. I was older than I should've been to noticed something that simple, but it makes sense that it would occur when I left the comfort of my very Mennonite hometown and moved south of the Mason Dixon Line. There was culture shock when I moved to Kentucky and, while I live in a more Liberal part of the state, it's still a very red Kentucky.

I've opened my mind to many things in the years that I have lived here and many stereotypes I used to have have been banished.

One such turning point was meeting my friend Jamie's brother, Joe. We drove to the back of their farm to get part of a giant tree that had fallen. Joe drove, Roy and I sat in the cab, and 3 or 4 people sat in the bed of the truck. Joe, bourbon in hand, drove the whole way laughing hysterically and driving very erratically, trying to get the people in the bed to fall out of the truck. They attached the log (tree) to the truck and drove back to Joe's house where the joke "how many rednecks does it take to put a log on the fire?" was literally tested. That was the first meeting and there were many subsequent ones where I found Joe to be a kind, generous soul.

Someone with a confederate flag bumpersticker on the back of his truck. Accompanying were the words, "Heritage, not hate."

I'm not a proponent of the Confederate Flag. I understand that its meaning has changed for a large segment of our population and that the hurt it causes is deep and painful. But it also showed me that issues are not always simple and clear.

Kentucky is home to a large military base, Fort Campbell. It's not uncommon to hear reports about the 101st Airborne on CNN and in the local papers are names - often - of soldiers lost in combat. This is one area where my beliefs have not been altered; where in fact they have been strengthened. In the runup to the war in Iraq, I'll never forget my Grandma saying to me, "you know... we've been fighting a long, long time. You would think that if war actually created peace, we'd be done by now."

I was looking for a piece of literature to post today, thinking about all of the antiwar literature written by the great Mark Twain, the outstanding and pointant works of Kurt Vonnegut. But I found it on a blog I read often. Thanks, Urban Mennonite.

On this Memorial Day, I honor the fallen with a prayer for peace.