Sophie eats an orange

the temper of a child: UPDATE

First of all, I want to thank you, my online community, for your words of support and advice. I had read the books and searched online, but it was in your words that I found the most comfort. It reminds me of how grateful I am to you all, my blogging community. This would be so much more difficult without you, and I am especially happy to be in touch with my extended family again - both by blood and friendship.

I have followed your advice and Sophie's tantrums have calmed significantly. We have always given her snacks after daycare, but we bumped it up and are pretty much feeding her supper when she gets home around 5:15. She's just so hungry. We've ditched the high chair and she now sits in a bar-height chair at the table and loves it. When she begins to show signs of a meltdown, distraction has been key. Most successful is a box that she can put different shaped blocks into. Claire, last night I started repeated "Bubbles, Bubbles" on your advice and she looked at me like I had just come up with the most remarkable poem. Katie, I think your comment on how much can she learn from these tantrums was most influential. I really took that to heart and am dealing with them with that at the forefront.

I once read, I think in Dr. Sears, about being a full time parent, about being present in Sophie's life through the entire 24 hour cycle. I don't mean a literal presence, or that I don't take breaks or time for myself, but about being attentive, consistent, and aware of Sophie's needs. I need to keep these skills honed for when she does melt down. That's when she needs me most.

Thanks again. I love you guys.

the temper of a child

Sophie, in all her cuteness, with her plump belly and darling toddler-speak, with her smile that shows her teeth and her snuggly, cuddly hugs, has decided to throw temper tantrums.

I know why.

They're always at the same time of day. 5:00, after we pick her up from day care and get her home. She's tired and she's hungry, and she's unwinding after her day at school. Rationally, I understand why she is acting the way she is - she doesn't know the words to communicate what she wants, and that's making the assumption that even SHE knows what she wants.

But still. I'm at a loss.

I let her throw them. Kick and scream on the floor. Follow me around clinging to my leg. She won't let me pick her up or put her down; she wants both. She refuses to eat in her high chair. This is an obvious problem since her hunger is fueling the tantrum. So do I let her starve to teach her a lesson, or do I succumb and feed her on my lap to get her some food? Argh.

It's no fun, but it's normal and I accept that. Right now what I'm looking for is advice. Can anyone share things that have worked for them?

This one's for Grandma Bix and Grandpa Tim

milestones

It's time I share with you two major milestones in Sophie's life that I have been looking forward to since she was still a little bean inside my belly.

Her first pair of Chuck Taylors

And dress up.This morning she walked into the living room looking very much as she does in the above picture, waved to me and said, "bye bye."

(is she really old enough to be doing that??)

It's 1 in the morning. Do you know where your children are?

I do! They are at Maw Maw and Pa's, spending a NIGHT AWAY FROM HOME! This is only the second time since Sophie was born that Roy and I have had a child free night. The first time we got home late and walked around the house talking loudly. Tonight was much less dramatic.

We emailed back and forth throughout the day about what our plans would be tonight, and we had a few options. Most discussion revolved around where we would have dinner. We were torn between Dudley's, an upscale, expensive, buy a bottle of wine kind of place, and Charlie Browns, which has $6 sandwiches, book lined walls, and smoke stained EVERYTHING. We ended up at Buddy's, one of our all-time favorite restaurants. While we were there I was reminded why. I saw older people, first dates, families with young kids, all kinds of people there, and the food is great! I had quick seared tuna on a bed of penne in light lemon cream sauce with whole cloves of garlic and artichoke hearts. Mmmmm. Roy had his usual fried chicken with Tomato Bacon Gravy. I think that, if they would let him, he would just order a bowl of the gravy.

We went to Joseph Beth and quickly realized we would spend entirely too much money, and left. We came home, I took a bath and finished my book (Him Her Him Again The End of Him by Patricia Marx) and we watched Pan's Labrynth and went to bed. Yup, we're awesome!!

But here I am, 1:30 in the morning, writing a blog. This is AFTER I wrote an incredibly long letter to dear Timothy and caught up on some of my blogs.

Maybe that espresso martini wasn't such a good idea after all. Oh well! I can sleep in for the first time in 17 months! HOORAY!!

What books are on your bedside table?

So my friend, Dan, gave an open invitation to his readership to start the meme What books are on your bedside table? Since I keep my bedside table relatively clean (read Sophie-Proof), I'm listing books on my proverbial bedside table, or, books I want to read.

Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert

Three Cups of Tea by Greg Mortenson and David Oliver Relin

Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life: Living the Wisdom of the Tao by Dr. Wayne Dyer

The Time Travelers Wife by Audrey Niffeneger

The Best Recipe and The New Best Recipe both books by Cook's Illustrated

Everything is Illuminated by Jonathan Safran Foer

Mirror Mirror by Gregory Maguire

Alice's Adventures in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll (I am embarrassed to admit that I haven't read this, but not more embarrassed than I am by the list of movies I haven't seen.)

Dakota by Kathleen Norris

A Walk in the Woods by Bill Bryson

Pilgrim at Tinker Creek by Annie Dillard (I have tried to read this 3 or 4 times and I just can't get into it, but I'll keep trying!)

A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini

Ahab's Wife by Sena Jeter Naslund

Waiting for Snow in Havana by Carlos Eire

I am obviously a big fan of fiction, but I can read non-fiction if it's well written and can keep my interest. I am currently reading The Happiness Hypothesis by Jonathan Haidt, a gift from Roy's granddad. It's totally rocking my world and the fact that it has footnotes sends me into fits if glee. But I don't gravitate toward non-fiction, so any suggestions would be welcome. In fact, if you have any suggestions at all I would be glad to hear them! If I wrote this post from the Library or Joseph Beth, it would probably be three times as long. Alas, this was all I could get off the top of my head.

roots and wings

My Pixie,

Tomorrow you turn 17 months. 17 months! For some reason, 18 months has always been a milestone. I'm not sure why. Perhaps in my mind, it is when you are truly no longer a baby. But I see now that as you begin yet another month, a baby you are not.

You prove this more and more every day.
You spot horses before we do and the way you say horse is just too cute. "hoees" Nearly as cute as "Oyeenge", combined with the excitement on your face when you see them on the counter. You LOVE oranges and that makes me very excited for the bounty of fruit to come and the eating of strawberries from the farmer's market. I expect you will have a lot of pink and red stained clothing this spring.

As I write this post, you have a fever. Your daddy gave you the flu. Bad daddy. 45 minutes ago you walked to me. I was in the kitchen making turkey noodle soup and you held up your arms. I picked you up and you waved outside and said, "night". I asked you if you wanted to go night night and you didn't say no. (at this point, that is your yes.) Still doubting you, I half-heartedly walked through our bedtime routine and as I entered your room, you clung to me and started to cry. "I didn't think so," I thought. But then, THEN you reached for our bedroom and our bed. I put you down and you crawled up, put your head on my pillow, and assumed your typical butt-in-the-air sleeping position. I covered you with blankets and you closed your eyes and went to sleep.

I am moved by your assertion of independence. That is what I wish for you. All too soon you will be going to slumber parties, getting in trouble with your cousins, going through middle school drama, high school heart breaks and off to college - your first glimpse of the real world. If I can do anything for you as your mother, it is to give you those strong roots, strong enough to keep you level when you make mistakes and keep you upright when you feel like you might fall.
I recently read that if you teach your children to be kind, they will by nature be polite. You are easily frustrated and you cry out, yet you will sit under the table for the longest time, quietly, gently playing with the cat. You will kick and scream over not getting your dammed goldfish crackers, but you will crawl to Wendy, pet her, and put your head on her belly and let her lick your face. You have a kind soul, an old soul. It is my job to nurture that soul, to protect it for as long as I can. Because as you have so elliquently proven to me, you are growing up. You are asserting your independence. And I am so, so proud.

Yael Naim

I love Mac commercials, and I'm especially fond of the song in the new one for the Mac Book Air. I looked it up online and I love it even more, as does Sophie who watched with me, sang and danced along, and clapped when it was over.

UPDATE: Grrrrrr.... You Tube has pulled the video. I guess that's what happens when someone gets popular and they want to charge people for listening to music. Oh well.

A Not-So-Typical Friday Night

Friday night was the culmination of months of hard work and boy was it sweet. A Night of Literary Feasts was the first major fundraiser for the Lexington Public Library Foundation. Nine authors were flown in from around the country (and Turkey!) and nine people graciously opened their homes to dinners with up to 20 paying guests - all proceeds going to the Foundation. For $150, the Library would do their best to get you into your 1st or 2nd choice, for $250 you would be guaranteed your 1st choice.

We sold 135 tickets and, while we had a few spots left, for all intents and purposes, we sold out. We expected approximately 175 people to attend the cocktail party that proceeded the dinners. There, the authors would be present to sign books and Joseph-Beth (The GREATEST bookstore in the entire world!) would sell them.

As I watched security hustle lagging patrons from the library at closing, and bottle after bottle of liquor was opened, as table cloths were placed on tables that were placed, and replace, and replaced again, as flower arrangements were set up, coat check lights turned on, and the faces of our celebrities entered the building, I started to freak out. What had I forgotten? While I wasn't the chief planner of this event - that honor goes to an amazing coworker of mine - I did my fair share and didn't want to see anything go wrong.

2 hours later, I stood with a glass of wine and felt such a sense of satisfaction. There was much laughter and people seemed to be having a wonderful time. Following the cocktail party, our guests went to dinner with their authors.

The Foundation Director invited me to me his guest at the home of Gay Reading and John Martin, owners of the Greentree Tea Room. Their house was incredible, filled with the most amazing art, and the architecture of their home - surely no less than 200 years old - had narrow hallways and shuttered windows. It was fascinating. The author was Jenny White, whose books are based in 1880 Turkey. She is currently living in Istanbul on a Fulbright Scholarship. Our hosts told us the food was "turkish inspired." We began with a delicious yogurt leek soup. The main course was a chickpea ragu over Basmati rice, with an artichoke and tomato salad, and pita bread. And for dessert we had apricots and figs, raisins and almonds, and turkish delight - ah, and how could the owners of the tea room not serve the finest Earl Grey tea in a magnificent tea pot.

I knew nothing about Turkey before attending this dinner. Now I feel I can at least speak somewhat intelligently of its history, its struggles, and it's beauty. Jenny was engaging and kind, and after dinner we sat and discussed Turkey. Our host, Gay, was incredibly knowledgeable about her book - I think even she was stunned - and he convinced her to read a passage. As I sipped my tea and listened to her imagery, I couldn't help but wonder what I was doing there, participating in such a cool event.

I got home at 11:30, freezing cold and with sore feet, and kind of stunned by a very unusual evening. Today I am still stunned. Stunned and grateful to have had the experience, and that it is over - at least until next year.