staying on my line

Last Sunday night I met my priest for beers at one of the local breweries. Mother Laurie (or as I more often refer to her, Laurie) has become someone (dare I say a friend?) that I enjoy hanging out with outside of church and I've been pleased to be able to separate Mother Laurie from just Laurie.

While we were taking, she used the phrase, staying on your line. This phrase is used by repellers (of which I am not) to mean keeping your line centered behind you. If it gets off to the right or left, you as the repeller can get all wonky and unbalanced an off your line. I immediately told her I was stealing that phrase.

She said that her goal in life is to stay on her line. Another priest (this time, Catholic) once told a very young 19 year old me, that being passionate about life was a cop out. 'Passion' had to be more directed - nuclear disarmament or equal rights or something noble and strong. While Father Frank certainly made an impact on my life, I think I'll go with Mother Laurie on this one. I don't think passion for life, or the desire to stay on your line, is a cop out. I think it's noble and strong.

Lately I've been thinking about my life. I'll be 33 next month. I'm not afraid of getting older, but it's becoming increasingly clear to me that I won't be able to do everything in this life. I probably won't live in Switzerland or go to culinary school or learn to bake bread from a master baker. I won't have a lover in the south of France or live in a quiet cottage with few possessions and brew tea from plants that grow wild in the forest. If some of those things happen in this life, great! But the direction my life has taken doesn't follow that path. And the truth is, I wouldn't change a damn thing to make it so.

I mean really when it comes down to it, if we could fit everything into one life, wouldn't we just end up bored?

So now, while I work toward many things that my path does seem to lead - a farm, chickens, big garden, a big family, and maybe I can learn to bake bread from a master baker - I will strive to stay on my line. Because that is noble. And strong.