nighttime

We are inadvertent co-sleepers. It wasn't something we thought about before Sophie was born and we were not prepared to have a newborn in our bed with us. But a tired and hormonal me couldn't bring myself to get out of bed every few hours to nurse our new little one back to sleep, putting her in a cold, lonely crib. So, I pushed back the covers and Sophie moved in.

Nighttime is now one of the most joyous parts of my day. Ok, so not EVERY nighttime is joyous, but our ritual is soothing for me. She loves her bath. We put away the baby tub months ago and every night she swims the length of the tub, splashing and playing and discovering. She then gets a lavender scented massage, with a little bit of quiet play time, before her pj's are put on and it's time to nurse. She falls asleep and I transfer her to my shoulder, then to bed. A few weeks ago, Roy built a co-sleeper that sits by the bed at the perfect height for her to have her own space and me to lay on my side and nurse. I put her down in her place and sometimes she stays asleep Most times I lay with her to nurse.

Already I find myself wishing I could go back to that first midnight labor pain, re-experience childbirth, just so I could do it all again from the beginning. Already, at only 7 months, my little girl is growing up. These nights, in the family bed, as Roy and I look at her beautiful, beautiful face and coo, "I love her" over and over again... these are the moments we wait for. Perfect, pure, moments.

Progress

When we bought out house over 2 years ago, it was a fixer-upper. The tenants had lived here for 7 - 8 years and the walls were tobacco stained, carpet too nasty to describe, and the back yard was frightening. Beneath the carpet were wood floors and fresh coats of paint and a good cleaning brought back the original beauty of this 80 year old house. and we love it. The back yard, however, has been a long time coming.

The spring after we first moved in, my friend Jenny explored the small space. It had obviously not been mowed for 3 - 4 years and the tenants' dog had filled it with nastiness. The grass had grown long, fallen over, and killed everything beneath. It was filled with trash, dog poop, and snakes. (I know I shouldn't be afraid of snakes. They're wonderful creatures. But they scare the living daylights out of me.) We discovered two huge rolls of metal fencing buried under grass and weeds, garden beds with a beautiful brick border, and daffodils that were trying desperately to find the sun.

That day we got the yard cleaned out, mowed, and suitable for, well, our dog. The shade of the trees above prevented the grass from growing lush and thick and with all of the inside projects (and our laziness), the backyard was left to stew.

When I got pregnant with Sophie, I said enough was enough. Out little girl needed a backyard. Last weekend, the first weekend of Spring, it was 80 degrees. Roy, Riley (Roy's 9 year old son) and I put on our summer duds and got rid of rocks and bricks, trash and our own dogs' nastiness. Sophie sat in her stroller watching us and enjoying the warmth of the sun on her new little legs. We tilled the soil using Roy's grandparent's electric tiller, and sowed shade-loving grass seed. Only 5 days later, the yard is a beautiful mosaic of green and brown. The new seed has yet to germinate, but the old grass is growing through in places it never did before and yesterday it rained lightly all day.

I now daydream of sitting in the back yard, drinking a beer, while Sophie crawls, rolls, dances and plays around us, chasing butterflies and lightening bugs.

Another note of progress: Sophie rolled from her blanket on the floor, 5 feet to her play mat. Yes she did. And I think she has the first little bud of a tooth.