my old kentucky home

Today at work, I had to order flowers for someone. His father passed away and the services were being held in Frenchburg, KY, in between Mt. Sterling and Stanton. I called a florist.

Me: Hi, my name is AnnaMarie Cornett and I'm calling from the Lexington Public Library. I need to order some flowers.

Him: OK. What's the name? (this is all in a VERY thick Kentucky accent)

Me: My name?

Him: See, if you're going to do this I need to get all kinds of information from you. Your name, your address, a credit card number...

Me: Yes, that's fine. (I repeated my name.)

Him: Where do you want these to go?

Me: (name of the funeral home)

Him: They got a body there?

Me: Excuse me?

Him: They got a body there? I thought they only had bodies at (names another funeral home) right now.

Me: Well, I called and confirmed that this was where the visitation would be tomorrow.

Him: Oh, well they might have a body there tomorrow.

Me: ...

Him: Our florist is at the Courthouse right now. Don't know when she'll be back. She's on that Grand Jury over there.

Me: Oh.. okay.

Him: ...

Me: Maybe I'll just call someone else.

Him: That would probably be best.