I usually have some feeling about the New Year, some underlying current of expectancy... it's gonna be good or it's gonna be bad; I'm gonna do this or I'm gonna do that. This year, however, is different. I feel... nothing. It feels like another day, another month.
But despite these feelings of indifference, I do want to take a moment to reflect on my year, and to think about what I hope for 2009.
On a grand scale, this year has kind of sucked. The election of Obama was the very, very high point in a year of dirty politics, economic crisis, continued war, and the recent, violent escalations between Israel and Palestine.
But I've gone through my blogs from the last year and wow, it's striking to see how much has happened on a personal level! At the start of 2008, Sophie was barely walking.Now she runs and jumps and somersaults. She climbs the crazy ladders at the park, and tries to keep her balance on the ledge. She talks incessantly and she is almost 100% potty trained.
While Riley's leaps and bounds are less obvious, he still went through a lot this year, too. His mom had her third child - finally, a brother! - and he had his first girlfriend... and heartbreak. He decided to grow his hair long, made the state swim meet, and found a deep love of horseback riding.
And what did I learn this year? To always strive to be a better mom and partner... To make some hard decisions to better my life... that it's okay to stop half way through a book... to be more selfless (I'm a Leo. This is an ongoing struggle)... that there is no shame in taking some time for myself... that spending an evening on a porch with a cold beer and good friends is better than any professional therapy... the be thankful and recognize my blessings...
If pressed to make a New Years Resolution, it would be to remain open to my surroundings, to always remember that I am evolving. Not to get stagnant, even though my life is so amazing and wonderful. Maybe this is the other reason 2009 isn't holding anything over me; things around me are really quite remarkable. Sure, there are things I'd like to change, but I have no complaints. I just need to remember to always be present.Happy New Year, my dear, dear friends.